While spreading the pain killer on my knee. I just had an overleap into my past. A person who lives in the present!. Why does he bother about his past?. I remember the day when I was admitted to school. It was crying faces who welcomed me. I didn’t cry, everything will have a reason beyond it. Probably someone didn’t wanted to make me cry in the beginning.
Now I do, there is no age for crying, even a cold blooded twenty year boy like me cries. I remember my old school days. I forget everything what I have learnt. But I don’t know what the hell is happening to me.
I get enlightened sometimes like the man who sat under the bodhi tree. It’s a shame for Buddha I know. Forgive me the Lord of wisdom. The day when Iwas caught for plucking flowers, the days when my friends didn’t include me while their bus game. Even remember the day when I slipped down my Juniors trousers. What makes me think about this? Am I an asshole? I remember the deadliest days of my life, I’m a cheater a theif. I’m sure I will have to pay for this in my life. The day when I stoled my friend’s stamp collection, small children usually does itnaa !. But the man beyond the skies will never forgive you for cheating a man who is disabled mentally. He trusted me a lot. It even hurt’s me when I think over it.
I am always self-conscious. I forget the love and care that was adored to me. The more I grow the wilder I become. The lost love which happened thrice in my life. I deserve that, actually I was repaying for mymistakes that I have confessed. Crying the whole night remembering the face of the girl I loved, she never came to my dreams again but her attitude and boldness thrills me even after two years. The pain I feel now after getting a boot knock from my opponent player is just a minute pain. It will be cured after a couple of months I hope. But the fire of regrets haunts me every moment.
Forgive me my love,forgive me my friend, it’s a damn world and me an asshole. All I need is some painkillers both for my mind and body.
# AM MENON writes